Interview, Fireside Chat
Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality | E74
- Ant Middleton (adventurer, ex-military special forces member, TV host, author) discusses his recent cancellation from Channel 4's SAS: Who Dares Wins, stating the broadcaster claimed his views did not align with theirs.
- Core Philosophy: Middleton defines the most courageous act as radical self-honesty, asserting that living a lie to please society or employers results in living in a "void" and psychological self-torture.
- Childhood Trauma: Middleton's father died when he was five, followed by his mother bringing in a stepfather and moving the family to France; this forced him to stop trying to understand external circumstances at age six and focus entirely on understanding his own emotions.
- Exercising "Demons": He describes suppressing negative thoughts ("demons") as dangerous, comparing them to mold; instead, he "exercises" them by consciously acknowledging them to prevent them from controlling him.
- Military Adaptation: Upon joining the British Army at 16, Middleton felt a cultural mismatch with the UK's male-dominated, aggressive environment; he initially adopted a false persona of aggression and drunkenness to fit in, later realizing this was a "square peg in a round hole."
- The Turning Point: At age 21, while in a bar in Macedonia working with the French Foreign Legion, Middleton realized the aggressive soldier he was mimicking was a future version of himself he despised; he subsequently handed in his notice and left the army.
- Civilian Failure: After leaving the military, Middleton struggled with the "demons" of his new identity, engaging in drink-driving, cheating on exams, and street fighting, which led to him being dismissed from Metropolitan Police training.
- Moment of Clarity: While sitting on the steps of a Job Center at age 22 with no money, Middleton experienced an out-of-body realization that he was living a lie; he decided to strip away his false ego and rebuild his life based on his true self.
- Rejoining the Royal Marines: He re-enlisted with the Royal Marines with a new mindset, refusing to compromise his nature for the culture, and won the King's Badge as "Best Recruit," proving he could succeed while being authentic.
- Handling Extremes: Middleton explains that he must access a "warrior" persona (aggression, violence) for professional military operations but must strictly switch off this persona upon returning home to his family to avoid confusion and domestic violence.
- Family Impact: He admits that returning from deployment requires a two-week transition period to let his "war machine" persona settle before re-integrating into domestic life, noting he often has to suppress military banter that he instinctively uses.
- Rejection of Victimhood: When offered a way to avoid prison by claiming PTSD (which he did not have), Middleton refused, choosing personal responsibility and serving his time rather than lying to himself or the system.
- Media Storm Response: Despite the "cancellation" narrative, Middleton reports that doors are opening with new sponsors and production companies who value his authenticity, stating he would rather lose opportunities than compromise his values.
- Political Neutrality: He describes himself as "in the middle," rejecting the binary left-right political divide and asserting that his core message of positivity and unity remains consistent regardless of where he stands on specific social issues.
- Cultural Critique: Middleton argues that society is "devolving" by enforcing comfort and "cotton wool" expectations, stating that humans are evolutionarily designed to face challenges and that removing meaning/challenge leads to mental health crises and addiction.
- Spiritual Connection: He shares a theory of being interconnected with the Earth, describing himself not as a visitor but as a "leaf" on the planet; he cites a near-death experience in the Andes where a rockfall confirmed for him a profound energy connection to nature.
- Purpose Defined: His life's objective is a constant progression toward becoming the best version of himself, a journey he views as addictive and essential for longevity, rather than a destination of perfection.
- Advice on Failure: Middleton reframes failure as a necessary positive fuel for growth, urging individuals to embrace challenges and view setbacks as data points for improvement rather than identity-defining events.
- Future Outlook: He expresses a desire to continue this journey of self-discovery indefinitely, noting that the fear of death only arises when he considers the end of the learning process, suggesting a hope for extended longevity or immortality.