Jun 27, 2022, 1:00 AM ETInterview, Fireside Chat

Bear Grylls: Man VS Failure, Anxiety & Imposter Syndrome | E155

Resilience is defined not as a "God-given talent" but as a muscle built by "walking through the door of failure time and time again and keep getting back up."
Bear Grylls distinguishes between external confidence (often "overt" and "unstoppable") and true confidence, which he describes as "quiet," involving honesty about struggle, and the commitment to "do your best" rather than "be the best."
Grylls rejects the concept of "talent" as a primary driver of success, citing that he has often felt he was "surrounded by people... better climbers, better skydivers, better survival guys" than himself.
He advocates for the Scout motto "Do your best" over the pressure to "win number one," noting that the former is a sustainable life currency while the latter often leads to early burnout or failure.

Grylls identifies breaking his back in the military (three fractures) as a "darkest moment" where he felt he could not even reach the bathroom without "excruciating agony," leading to a crisis of identity and purpose.
He reveals that the trauma of losing his father at a young age, combined with his wife Shara losing her mother within 10 weeks of their marriage, removed a "safety net" and forced them into a partnership of mutual trauma and reliance.
Grylls admits to struggling with "imposter syndrome" that grew as his career progressed, feeling the "gulf between the TV guy" and his internal reality of being a "really regular guy" surrounded by experts.
He acknowledges that his early confidence in his physical skills has diminished over the years, replaced by a realization that he often stands on the "shoulders of giants" and relies on "good luck" and the support of others.
The death of four climbers on Everest (three Russians and a New Zealander) during his expedition "rattled" him, shifting his perspective from viewing climbing as a romantic quest to recognizing the reality of the "dark, difficult, and confusing" nature of the mountain.
He notes that while he reached the summit, he "would not do it now" given the 1-in-6 fatality rate, acknowledging that "just because you're determined doesn't mean everything's going to go well."

Grylls initially entered television reluctantly, fearing he lacked TV knowledge, until his wife encouraged him to "go and try it" while they were newly married and "pretty broke."
The original Man vs. Wild format succeeded because it showed "the mud on the lens," "the rain on the lens," and "the trips and stumbles," rather than presenting a perfect hero narrative.
He describes a turning point where he struggled with fame and self-consciousness once the show garnered over a billion viewers, leading to anxiety and a loss of the "fun" he originally felt.
His mindset shifted when he realized the show's value was not about him, but about how it empowered others (e.g., a single mother finding strength in his story), which "lifted" him and freed him from the pressure of being a "hero."
Grylls cites outdoor activity, cold water immersion (ice baths), and connection with a "collective tribe" of veterans (BMF) as critical tools for managing his mental health and anxiety.
He argues that mental health is a "weapon" in the arsenal of life, requiring the same attention as physical health, and that "the wild" is a powerful tool to build mental resilience against a depleting world.

Grylls admits to having "burned the most valuable things" (his family) in the early days of his TV career due to production pressure, acknowledging he was "away too much" and apologizing for those times.
He advocates for a shift in work-life balance, suggesting one should "shift the line" to be more family-oriented, even if it means turning down significant income (e.g., $100,000) to be present for family moments.
His guiding philosophy for his children is to "be kind, be determined, never give up," a message he admits his teenage sons roll their eyes at but hopes they will understand later.
He values loyalty and "unseen" heroes, citing his long-term camera crew and military friends as the true "giants" and "ninjas" of his life rather than the public-facing image of his career.
Grylls expresses a regret that he never had the chance to tell his father he was "right," specifically regarding the advice to "go for it" if it was his dream, and urges listeners to tell their parents they love them now.
He defines his role as Chief Scout not as a CEO, but as a "small cog" in a machine of 55 million young people, with his primary job being to "encourage, encourage, encourage."

Grylls approaches fame with "a bucket of salt," refusing to base his self-worth on public recognition which he views as volatile and ultimately transient ("when we're 95 years old nobody's going to know who I am").
He notes that his faith is a "quiet thing" that has grown stronger through trauma (e.g., witnessing death on Everest) rather than being shaken, describing faith as "two sides of the same coin" with doubt.
He recounts a spontaneous moment with Barack Obama where he offered encouragement and a prayer, noting that such "awkward" but honest connections often mean more than scripted interactions.
He distinguishes between "quitting" (which he calls "wisdom" and necessary when intuition signals danger) and "persistence" (which is required 90% of the time when facing difficulty).
Grylls warns against "peaking too early" in life, contrasting school heroes who lack resilience with those who persevere quietly, noting that the latter often succeed more in the "long run."

His new book, Never Give Up, took five years to write because he wanted to be "vulnerable" and share the failures behind his successes rather than just preaching; he found the process of writing was a "learning process" rather than a teaching one.
He hopes to continue his mission of empowering people to find adventures for the next five years, though he expects to "dial down the pace" to protect family and manage physical scars.
Grylls states his long-term goal is to "arrive in a perfectly preserved body" only if he can "come skidding in sideways covered in scars screaming, 'What a ride!'"
He envisions his future not as a cessation of work, but as a continuation of sharing the "adventure spirit" with his children and eventually grandchildren.
He emphasizes that growth and fulfillment are found in relationships and the "second half of life," which is "harder" than achieving goals, as it requires enjoying the journey and "being happy" with what you have achieved.