May 20, 2022, 1:14 PM ETInterview

Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power | Lex Fridman Podcast #287

Bobby Lee expresses no interest in appearing on the Joe Rogan Experience, citing a fear of rejection and a desire to avoid "no" responses; he would accept if Rogan personally invited him on a specific date.
Lee was not invited to Andrew Schulz's wedding, an exclusion that initially caused him deep resentment and revenge fantasies before therapy helped him process the feeling of being an "outsider."
Lee credits his wife, Kalilah, with launching the Tiger Belly podcast after she purchased equipment and recorded three episodes solo; he joined her immediately, recognizing her innate comedic chemistry and improvisational skills.
He describes his role in the Bad Friends podcast dynamic with Andrew Santino as that of a "follower" who responds well to Santino's "alpha" energy, noting their organic chemistry felt "meant to happen."
Lee reveals he plays a podcaster married on the Sex and the City reboot, a role he found himself questioning due to the show's tone.

Lee's career trajectory shifted significantly after meeting Kalilah; she was the first to validate his potential, force him to attend auditions he avoided, and help him navigate his transition from a struggling comedian to a successful one.
He describes his parents as having "calloused" emotional states due to severe childhood trauma, including his mother witnessing her sister's death at age 12 and his father's history of physical abuse.
Lee shares a regret regarding his inability to connect emotionally with his parents, specifically a memory of his mother rejecting his attempt to apologize for their shared trauma by immediately suggesting they go eat Italian food.
He confirms his father died in August 2019, an event that triggered a resurgence of past trauma and self-destructive behaviors in Lee.
Lee identifies his father, a Ukrainian immigrant with a violent past, as a figure he transformed from a source of fear into a source of pride when Lee appeared on MADtv and The Tonight Show.

Lee recounts a near-death experience four months prior to the interview where he was naked, dehydrated, and coughing up blood after a relapse involving edibles and alcohol; he feared imminent death and slept by a hotel door to facilitate a quick discovery of his body.
He entered a rigorous 12-hours-a-day outpatient psychotherapy program in Arizona, which, combined with a physical clearance confirming his health, led to his current state of sobriety and clarity.
Lee admits to having a "self-critical" internal engine that drives his work ethic out of a fear of becoming lazy, though he actively works to compartmentalize this voice.
He discusses the psychological impact of his immigrant parents' survivalist mentality, noting that deep emotional processing was impossible for them due to the trauma of war and poverty they endured in Ukraine and Korea.
Lee confirms he is considering fatherhood but feels motivated by a desire to break the cycle of trauma he experienced, ensuring he would never be violent or neglectful toward his own children.

Lee expresses no fear of AI or robots, believing that consciousness could be engineered and that machines might soon achieve human-like interaction, though he doubts they will possess the "smoothness of skin" or emotional soul required for true intimacy.
He notes that the military and Department of Defense are the primary funders of cutting-edge robotics research, likely leading to the development of autonomous weapon systems.
Lee speculates that humans who acquire sex robots do so primarily for emotional companionship and the feeling of "being there," rather than purely for sexual gratification.

When asked to be a dictator of Earth for a day, Lee refuses, citing a moral aversion to violence and a fear that absolute power would distort his perception of right and wrong, leading to a cycle of distrust and paranoia.
In a hypothetical scenario of being the last person on Earth, Lee plans to visit the RealDoll factory in San Diego to acquire multiple sex robots to combat loneliness before eventually succumbing to a lack of electricity knowledge.
Lee defines the meaning of life as maintaining a state of "awe and wonderment" at the incomprehensible nature of the universe, rather than seeking definitive answers.
He admits to finding the concept of death terrifying due to the "infinity of nothingness," though he considers Ram Dass's perspective that death might initially feel like the "release of a tight shoe."

Lee's favorite video games are open-world titles like Skyrim and Oblivion, which he plays for the "grinding" mechanics, such as collecting specific items (e.g., blisterwort mushrooms) without the pressure of linear storytelling.
He describes a unique encounter at a 7-Eleven in Austin where a man aggressively but gently asked to perform a sexual act on him; Lee viewed the interaction as an unexpected display of love rather than a threat.
Lee maintains a "minimalist" aesthetic in his home (sleeping on the floor, no couches) despite having a "shopping addiction," frequently buying designer items like Todd Snyder shoes that he wears for a single occasion.
He recounts the tension-filled dynamic of his podcast appearance with Carlos Mencia, where he felt Mencia never fully apologized for his history of stealing jokes, leading Lee to cut ties despite past mentorship and support.
Lee believes in a form of "karma" where treating people with love and kindness opens doors to opportunities that seem to appear at the "right time," citing the serendipitous meeting of his podcast engineer, Gilbert, as evidence.