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Interview, Fireside Chat

Esera Tuaolo: Retired NFL Player and LGBT Advocate

  • Essara Tuololo is a former NFL player, writer, singer, and LGBTQ+ advocate who joined Goldman Sachs' Consumer Retail Group for a discussion on his career and advocacy work.
  • Career Timeline:
    • Drafted by the Green Bay Packers in 1991.
    • Played two seasons with the Packers before spending five years with the Minnesota Vikings.
    • Played for the Carolina Panthers and appeared in a Super Bowl with the Atlanta Falcons.
    • Appeared on NBC's The Voice in 2017, reaching the top 20.
  • Identity and Coming Out:
    • Identified as gay from a young age while growing up in a Polynesian/Samoan culture that emphasizes masculinity.
    • Cited a fifth-grade incident where witnessing the bullying of a boy labeled "Fag," "Fafafine," or "Mahu" caused him to repress his identity.
    • Remained closeted throughout his NFL career, describing the environment as "torturous" due to the need to mask his identity in the locker room.
    • The primary motivation for coming out publicly in 2002 was his adopted children; he could not sustain the shame of living a double life while parenting.
    • Publicly came out on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel in 2000 (noting a discrepancy in the transcript where the speaker says 2002 earlier, but specifies 2000 regarding the TV appearance).
  • Personal Impact of Coming Out:
    • Described the moment of coming out as an immediate, profound release of burden, stating he felt "light as a feather" and experienced intense emotional relief.
    • The disclosure allowed him to pursue suppressed passions, specifically singing, cooking, and acting, without the fear of professional stigma.
  • Memoir and Mental Health:
    • Published the autobiography Alone in the Trenches: My Life as a Gay Man in the NFL in 2006.
    • The book details experiences of sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, and the psychological toll of the "closet."
    • Wrote the memoir to facilitate personal healing and forgiveness after receiving thousands of emails from readers globally encouraging him to share his story.
  • Advocacy and Non-Profit Work:
    • Founded the non-profit organization Hate Is Wrong (or "Hate in Any Form Is Wrong") to bridge the gap between the professional sports world and the LGBTQ+ community.
    • The organization's mission focuses on anti-bullying programs and fostering diversity and inclusion.
    • Launched an annual "Inclusion Party" during the Super Bowl to raise funds for local anti-bullying initiatives.
      • 100% of proceeds from the Inclusion Party remain in the host city for anti-bullying programs.
      • Raised approximately $40,000 for these programs over the first two years of the initiative.
      • The third annual event was scheduled to take place in Miami.