Feb 21, 2022, 1:00 AM ETInterview

James Smith: How To Create The Life You’ve Always Wanted | E120

James Smith was adopted into a stable family with no history of abandonment issues, contrasting with common narratives about adoption.
He was diagnosed in childhood with learning difficulties, which were later disputed by educational psychologists who attributed his behavior to laziness rather than incapacity.
Smith felt his brain functioned at only 20% efficiency throughout the school system, leading to behavioral issues and the feeling of being "not good enough."
He dropped out of university in his first year, having internalized the narrative that his academic struggles defined his future limitations.
Smith spent his early twenties in corporate sales and recruitment roles, earning £18k–£20k, believing he needed to climb a corporate ladder to find acceptance.
He identifies a critical failure in the education system for not guiding students toward lateral pathways or acknowledging that academic failure does not equate to a lack of intelligence.

Smith's original goal as a personal trainer was to earn a living with just 10 high-ticket clients (£150/hour) for 30 hours a week, rather than scaling to 30 clients.
He became process-oriented in 2015, investing heavily in daily social media posting and email marketing for years before seeing revenue, rejecting a traditional "get rich quick" mindset.
Smith operates on the principle of "Income Satiation," arguing that happiness does not scale proportionally with wealth beyond a certain threshold (approx. £75k/household).
He emphasizes that the dopamine response to financial wins is identical regardless of the amount (e.g., earning £1 vs. earning £100), urging people to celebrate small wins to avoid delaying happiness.
Smith aims to teach the underlying principle of fitness (calorie deficit) rather than selling a specific method (e.g., Keto, 5:2), viewing his role as a driving instructor who should eventually make themselves obsolete.
He critiques the fitness industry for retaining clients for years when a competent trainer should enable a client to be self-sufficient within six months.

Smith adopted a strategy of "polarizing" content, intentionally taking controversial stances to filter his audience and ensure high engagement from those who align with his values.
He asserts that you do not need a million followers to succeed, arguing that a personal brand only requires a small number of people who genuinely like you to do business.
Smith practices "cunt-sivity" (a portmanteau of "cunt" and "selectivity"), intentionally posting content that causes some followers to unfollow him to tighten his community's remit.
He maintains an "uncancellable" status by being hyper-transparent about his controversial views (e.g., drug legalization, past drug use) and avoiding the facade of moral perfection.
Smith has a "get-out plan" designed to allow him to live a fulfilling life anywhere in the world if his current revenue streams are removed, citing financial resources and a desire to open a Jiu-Jitsu dojo.
He views social media as a tool for self-expression rather than a popularity contest, noting that the act of posting content that makes him feel good is the primary reward.

Smith acknowledges an "avoidant relationship style" and admits to being selfish in past relationships, blaming himself rather than his partners for failures.
He has not been in a romantic relationship for over a year, viewing his quick breakups as a defense mechanism against potential heartbreak rather than a sign of being "good" at being single.
A pivotal psychedelic experience solidified his desire to have children, driven by the biological imperative to continue a lineage and the desire to "pay forward" the sacrifices his adoptive parents made for him.
Smith fears the "mental prison" of not expressing oneself, citing suicide rates in the LGBTQ+ community and the dangers of suppressing authentic expression.
He differentiates between pleasure (short-term fix, self-focused) and happiness (long-term, derived from sharing experiences with others), arguing that wealth without family leads to an empty existence.
Smith views martial arts (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) as a crucial outlet for frustration and a grounding practice that keeps him humble regardless of his public status.

Smith rejects the concept of "luck" as a primary driver of success, arguing that it is a primitive cognitive shortcut used to disempower individuals from taking personal responsibility.
He posits that believing in luck hands over the reins of one's life to external forces, whereas acknowledging hard work and preparation empowers individuals to shape their outcomes.
Smith is writing a third book on confidence, which he intends to publish in January; he approaches the topic as an inquirer rather than a guru, aiming to help people identify their specific "gaping holes" of insecurity.
He expresses a strong desire to improve his self-image as a human being, specifically to become a better partner and father, drawing inspiration from his parents' 50-year marriage.
Smith warns against the "sunk cost fallacy" in relationships and careers, advising individuals to evaluate their current trajectory based on future fulfillment rather than past investment.