Interview, Podcast
Rochelle Humes: Learning To Be At Peace With Uncertainty | E118
- Rochelle Humes officially terminated her management contract, a decision she cites as "your fault" for the host's earlier advice on making decisions at 51% certainty.
- She applied a principle learned from Barack Obama: act when 51% certain rather than waiting for 100% certainty to avoid the long-term damage of procrastination.
- The decision to take control of her own career felt "emotional" and akin to a "breakup," causing initial guilt about upsetting her former team despite the relief of liberation.
- Humes notes that her family dynamic is defined by "just me and mum," as her father left when she was one, resulting in sporadic contact that ceased entirely until she was a teenager.
- At age 12, Humes encountered a relative claiming to be her uncle who provided evidence of their relationship, yet established no actual bond, reinforcing her father's inconsistency.
- Upon having her own children, Humes felt a shift in perspective, realizing she would never expose her children to the absence her father inflicted, viewing his absence as "flaky" and untrustworthy.
- She discovered her father has two daughters and a son (her half-siblings), a revelation that occurred after she met a school friend of her brother at a Christmas event.
- Humes rejected the urge to seek answers from her father, stating she is "too old and too wise to believe bullshit" and accepts that a conversation would yield no honest truth.
- She forgave her father's absence, describing acceptance as "letting a prisoner go" to stop holding onto a grudge that serves no purpose other than self-harm.
- The Saturdays formed in 2007 when Humes was 18; the group disbanded naturally around 2014 as members' priorities shifted toward family and independent careers.
- Humes contrasts the hysteria of boy bands like One Direction with girl bands, noting boy bands faced different levels of global pressure, while girl bands faced intense scrutiny over physical appearance and weight.
- She recalls a specific instance of performing on national television three and a half weeks postpartum, wearing Spanx to hide her body while struggling with breastfeeding issues.
- The group never officially announced a breakup because the members loved each other and preferred to let the dynamic dissolve as individual needs changed.
- Humes confirms she will not participate in a reunion tour, citing her role as a mother of three and the demands of running her business as primary constraints.
- She launched "Little Coco," her children's hair and skincare brand, just weeks before the pandemic, after three years of product development and testing.
- Retailers initially rejected the brand's core product, the "curl custard," due to a lack of interest in products for Afro hair, a barrier that disappeared post-Black Lives Matter movement.
- Humes secured a partnership with Boots, which she describes as a "Dragon's Den" moment where they embraced the brand's inclusive values immediately.
- She asserts that entrepreneurship requires being "all in," with the reality that one cannot "turn the phone off at five" or expect overnight success without significant graft.
- Humes employs a strict "interview myself" filter for brand deals, ensuring she can genuinely speak to the product's value on a morning show for five years without acting.
- She declined several lucrative brand deals in the past when she lacked financial stability but now prioritizes passion and alignment over immediate income.
- Humes became the face of a Channel 4 documentary on black maternal mortality, aiming to highlight that black and brown women are 3-5 times more likely to die during childbirth than white women.
- The project sparked a controversy where Humes was accused of stealing a role from a darker-skinned presenter, leading to accusations of colorism and online harassment.
- Humes received death threats and feared for her safety, including a fear of taking her child to nursery, which led her to stay silent and refuse to engage in public defense.
- Her husband, Marvin, confiscated her phone for the weekend to protect her from the online toxicity, a move Humes credits for allowing her to process the trauma.
- She chose to remain silent during the controversy to avoid fueling the "daily mail" narrative and to keep the focus on the documentary's contributors rather than herself.
- Humes reflects that the controversy taught her not to react defensively, realizing that "acceptance" of misunderstanding is often more liberating than attempting to correct public perception.
- She critiques the culture of "blue tick responsibility," arguing that celebrities are unfairly expected to comment on complex issues outside their expertise.
- Humes discusses the double standard in parenting praise, noting that fathers receive accolades for routine childcare ("daddy daycare") while mothers are judged for working.
- She manages her own career to maintain speed and control, avoiding the delays of corporate firms and ensuring her personal "vibe" remains authentic to her decisions.
- Her five-year career plan involves balancing daytime TV with her Saturday night family entertainment show and continuing the organic growth of Little Coco.
- Humes admits to neglecting her dog, attributing the lack of attention to her husband's evening schedule and her own work focus, despite the dog's unconditional love.
- She advocates for authentic parenting, promising to be "real" with her children about their talents and not forcing them into careers they are not suited for.
- The conversation concludes with Humes emphasizing that family does not get a "free pass" into one's life if the dynamic is toxic, and that one must prioritize their own well-being.