Mar 31, 2025, 3:00 AM ETInterview, Podcast

Young Men Are (Quietly) Giving Up...Here’s Why!

A March 2025 report by the Centre of Social Justice titled The Lost Boys identifies a critical demographic shift where young men are falling behind across education, employment, and mental health metrics.
The number of males aged 16–24 who are Not in Education, Employment, or Training (NEET) has increased by 40%.
Young women are now out-earning young men, reversing traditional gender pay dynamics in urban markets under age 30.
Men in single-parent households (92% mother-only) are significantly more likely to engage in criminal activity, substance abuse, and self-harm compared to boys in two-parent homes.
The suicide rate for young men has risen dramatically; it is now the leading cause of death for men under 30 in 50 countries, with 75% of all male suicides globally attributed to men.
When women out-earn their male partners, divorce rates double, and men are three times more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication due to diminished self-esteem.
Social scientists note a "mating gap" where high-achieving women cannot find partners who meet traditional hypergamous standards, while bottom-tier men are effectively shut out of the dating market.

Girls mature biologically approximately 18 months faster than boys, with the prefrontal cortex developing earlier, leading to a maturity gap that disadvantages boys in early schooling.
70% of girls are ready for kindergarten at age 5, whereas a significant minority of boys are not, suggesting delayed school entry could improve outcomes.
Male teachers have dropped to 24% of the workforce in some sectors, leaving boys without male role models during critical developmental years.
Boys are twice as likely to be suspended for behavior compared to girls for the same infractions, a statistic that is five times higher for black boys.
Boys are statistically more vulnerable to the negative effects of sexual molestation; those who are abused are 6–10 times more likely to commit suicide than their female counterparts.
Schools are increasingly structured around female learning preferences (sitting still, verbal participation), which disadvantages boys who thrive on movement and practical application.
Traditional vocational paths like "wood, shop, or metal" have disappeared, replaced by a college-centric economy that favors top 1% performers, leaving the middle 90% with fewer viable pathways to the middle class.

"Emotional intelligence" has become the primary currency in modern dating, replacing the traditional "provider" role that men were historically raised to pursue.
60% of college enrollment is now female; projecting forward, for every two female graduates, there will be only one male graduate, creating a supply shortage of college-educated men.
Dating apps have created a winner-take-all environment where the top 10% of men receive 70-80% of all matches, while the majority of men receive negligible attention.
Women's height filters on apps (often set at 6 feet) exclude 86% of the male population, artificially shrinking the dating pool.
A "dating paradox" exists where women demand emotional availability from men, but often react negatively or feel overwhelmed when men actually display vulnerability.
50% of men aged 18–24 have never asked a woman out in person, a statistic driven by fear of being labeled "creepy" and the dominance of digital interaction.
Online dating has reduced friction for men; the ease of digital intimacy allows men to opt out of the challenges of real-world rejection and relationship building.

Pornography consumption (accounting for 30% of all internet traffic, 80% by men) is linked to decreased motivation to pursue real-world relationships and increased rates of depression.
Lack of male bonding circles has been replaced by digital isolation, with young men spending fewer hours face-to-face with peers compared to previous generations.
Men lacking romantic partners in their 20s are three times more likely to develop substance abuse problems by age 30.
Financial instability causes profound identity crises in men; one user wrote, "I never felt like I was good enough," and another described feeling "worthless" during bankruptcy.
The "No-Fap" and men's rights communities are filling the void left by the absence of traditional mentorship, often channeling frustration into misogynistic or anti-social ideologies.
Modern men feel a conflict between the expectation to be "emotionally available" and the biological drive to be "protective and providers," leading to confusion and inaction.

Establishment of "Men's Groups" or peer councils where men can discuss struggles, hold each other accountable, and process emotions without the pressure of romantic or family dynamics.
Implementing "surplus value" as a metric for masculinity, encouraging men to create more value for their community (tax revenue, emotional support, protection) than they consume.
Vocational training and apprenticeships must be revitalized to provide middle-class career paths for men not in the top 1% of academic achievement.
Delayed school entry for boys (redshirting) could align educational environments with their developmental timelines.
"Adulting" classes in high schools should include practical instruction on credit, interest rates, and healthy relationship negotiation.
Men are advised to "gamble" their time capital away from digital distractions (TikTok, porn) toward physical fitness, financial skill-building, and face-to-face social engagement.
Reading fiction is proposed as a low-cost method to build empathy and understanding of the female perspective, countering the isolating effects of non-fiction and social media.
Parents, particularly mothers, are urged to facilitate male involvement in their sons' lives through coaches, mentors, or community groups when fathers are absent.

Young men are shifting politically to the right; men under 30 were among the most significant demographic groups to pivot from Democratic to Republican between 2020 and 2024.
The left is criticized for failing to offer a compelling vision of modern masculinity, while the right is noted for conflating masculinity with "toxic" or "coarse" behavior.
The collapse of birth rates (South Korea's fertility rate is 0.7) poses an existential economic threat, potentially halving the labor force and military conscription numbers by 2050.
Economic inequality has intensified; the top 10% of Americans are healthier and wealthier than ever, while the bottom 90% face stagnation, disproportionately affecting men.
The "winner-take-all" economic model encourages a super-class of billionaires while leaving the bottom 90% without a viable path to prosperity or status.

Scott Galloway's new book, Work in Progress: Notes on Becoming a Man, frames masculinity as a "code" based on stories of failure, parenting, and partnership rather than rigid stereotypes.
Logan Ury's book, How to Not Die Alone, focuses on identifying blind spots in dating behavior and creating actionable plans to overcome them.
All three speakers identify loneliness as a primary fear: Galloway fears dying alone surrounded by strangers; Ury fears her husband's death; Logan fears making bad decisions that lead to a lonely, old age.
The conversation concludes that the crisis is not zero-sum; society cannot thrive if young men continue to flail, as their economic and social participation is essential for the stability of families and the broader economy.